By: Florencia Herrera, académica de Sociología UDP y Directora del Núcleo DISCA; Irene Salvo, de la Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona; y Andrea Rojas, Coordinadora del Núcleo DISCA
This question is often answered from a perspective of suspicion or prejudice, assuming that having a parent with a disability is a burden and a disproportionate responsibility for their sons or daughters.
However, our research experience shows that first-person accounts from the children of people with disabilities offer a different perspective, one that focuses on care relationships based on autonomy and reciprocity.
For these children, having a parent with a disability is simply a fact of their lives, like any other—not a tragedy or a burden. Many of them even emphasize that having a mother or father with a disability has positive effects on their lives.
In a study conducted in Chile between 2022 and 2024, children and adolescents shared their family experiences with us. In their testimonies, disability does not occupy a central place, nor is it perceived as a disadvantage. On the contrary, all describe their mothers and fathers as active, responsible, and loving individuals.
Most of them highlight that their families are not different from others because of the presence of disability; they do recognize a difference, but it stems from the emotional closeness they experience in their relationships.
These sons and daughters explain that, while they do help with certain tasks related to their parent’s disability—such as guiding a blind parent on the street or supporting communication for a deaf mother—these actions are occasional and do not replace the constant care that their parents provide for them.
In this sense, the interviewed children and adolescents draw a clear distinction between providing specific, occasional support and assuming caregiving responsibilities that do not belong to them. “My mom takes care of me, and I help her when she needs it,” explained one of the teenage participants.
Despite their acceptance of disability at home, these children note that social perceptions of disability have a strong influence on their lives, even more so than the disability itself. They recount experiences of discrimination, discomfort, or ignorance in public spaces, educational settings, and healthcare services, which cause them frustration and discomfort.
To counter this, they often take on an educational role in these situations, raising awareness and deconstructing stereotypes. They explain the use of assistive devices or share their experiences of living daily with a mother or father with a disability. In this way, they help to dismantle myths and prejudices in educational, healthcare, and family contexts.
Listening to children has allowed us to see that there is a relationship of mutual, but not equivalent, care. For them, the care their parents provide is constant, broad, and consistent. As a society, the best way to respond to these experiences is by recognizing these families in their diversity and ensuring that their stories are treated with dignity.